I have never been to any other planet. Then how come this one worldly creature ask me what planet I came from!?!?! I'm an earthling! I may not know everything about everything and everyone on this planet. But that does not mean that I am ejected from the human race.
This is so sad. I always try to be a positive person, one who sees the good in everything. After all the things I've been through - meeting different personalities, learning my lessons, getting into endless debates, doing lots of readings, and going through happy times and some heartaches, I thought that I am now secure with myself. I thought I passed the "character" test already. Apparently, the test has just begun and there are several items I couldn't seem to get right.
I just met the second person I don't ever want to be with (the first one is another story, something I'd rather not write about). Oh, I hate this mentality. I hate to hate anyone or anything because that is a contradiction to my ideal "positive" personality. But here it is, this is what I feel. At this point and time, I will allow myself to dislike this person. And I believe that I have justifiable reasons.
He asks me about music. Have I heard this song? Do I know this singer? Okay, I don't.... Is that a sin?! So what if I'm no music lover!?! Does that give him the right to insult me and ask me if I really come from earth?
I haven't read all the books in the world. I don't know all the authors. Come on, who does?! I don't care who this Russian 1800s author is. So what if I'm not yet finished with the 7th installment of the Harry Potter series? So what if I haven't read all of Bob Ong's books? I'm just okay with the few that I've read and have decided that I'm not interested with any more of his writings, for now at least. Is that a sin? Am I not entitled to my personal choices? So his choices are different from mine. But that doesn't mean I'm less of a person. How dare he judge my opinions?! Does he not understand what "opinions" mean?!!!
Okay, I say thank you for every little thing anybody does for me. I smile. I laugh. I'm happy. What's wrong with that?!? How dare he tell me that I don't have to say "thank you" more than once. For the first time, I answered back, "I have the right to say and do whatever I want!!!"
He brags about having worked for two companies already before landing a job in an audit firm. And he didn't like both jobs, so he quit. He tells everyone this. But Stan is right, why didn't he last? It's not really about those companies. It's about him.
And he's not even great!!! We talked about board ratings and he asked about mine. I said mine is just okay. Then he boasts of his rating, almost a mere passing mark. Mine is almost five (5) percent higher than his... I didn't tell him. I don't have to. But the whole thing makes me sick.
He acts as if he knows everything; and corrects everyone at every opportunity he could. He gives corrections (what he thinks is right but not necessarily so) for even the smallest thing just so he could make his point that he's great.
I'm sick of him. I don't have to take any more of him. And I don't intend to! I shouldn't allow one person to make me feel small and stupid... The experience with him is just another item in the test. I will soon get over it. And my answer will be the right one.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I am Juana Change
I hope you are, too.
These past months and days, I've been whining about the political activities in this country; the lack of interest in our needs of our supposed public servants; the obvious and hidden corruption everywhere.
I whine about our century-old problems. It even came to the point where I declared to my family, friends and those who care to listen, even those who don't care to but have no choice but listen, that I will live in the mountains the moment GMA has a legal possibility of retaining any public office.
But then I realized that it will serve no purpose. She gets to her throne.... and I will be a broken young person who will suffer from self-inflicted wounds in my heart and soul.
All the whining will end today. I feel helpless no more. I feel enlightened, inspired and a little ashamed. While I was losing hope about everything in this country, many of my fellow Filipinos are fighting (in different ways) for a better Philippines. Seeing them has given me the drive to be a soldier and to fight for a very worthy cause. Together, we will drive the evil away.
I have seen and experienced enough problems to break my heart and soul.
My father is an elementary principal who was assigned for three years in an elementary school in the mountains. He had to drive for an hour and a half every morning just to get there. In his first year, there were only four teachers, including himself. The usual "six grade levels" system was not practiced. Only three classes were held. Grades 1 and 2 were in one class and so on. No books and facilities were available to them. Many of the pupils there had to walk many kilometers just to get to school. The turnover is high. Pupils and/or their parents either get tired or they stop believing that getting an education would bear anything.
Whenever people learn that I come from GenSan, they would immediately associate it with Manny Pacquiao. They never fail to ask if I get 'balato' from the boxing champ. Really, it never crossed my mind to ask balato. But many of my kababayan think that they deserve a portion of Manny's fortune. If they don't get anything, some would hold grudges. What a mentality! If we want something for ourselves, we must earn it.
I had an amusing yet very sad experience a week ago. I was headed to Mall of Asia from Makati to join my relatives. The bus got off at Baclaran; and from there, I was to ride a jeepney to get to MOA. I had to cross the highway through an overpass to get my ride. The rain has stopped but the water in the overpass was still high. There was no other way to get to the other side. I was cursing until a boy offered us a ride, for P10.00, in his cart. I almost laughed. I was relieved. The others were hesitant. We took the risk. We got to the other end safely. I gave him P20.00. The drainage problem has become an opportunity for this lad to earn. But the points are: the local government did not address the drainage problem and why do these boys make a living in the streets when they should be safe at home.
My sister is abroad. I (and she) could claim that she went there for the experience - to travel, to meet other people, to live a dream, to satisfy whatever desires she has, etc. But the sickening truth is, she is thousands of miles away from her home and loved ones because she has to earn big to support our family. She is making a sacrifice!!! Both my parents are professionals. And they are two of the most intelligent and hardworking people I know. They've been servants of this country for a long time. And they literally earn servants' wages. Families have to be separated because of lack of compensation, support and opportunities in this country.
I see cruelty, abuse, corruption and many forms of violence everyday. But I also see hope, commitment and love; and these keep me going.
I demand change and I pledge to be the beginning of the change I want to be. I have a voice and I will make it count.
These past months and days, I've been whining about the political activities in this country; the lack of interest in our needs of our supposed public servants; the obvious and hidden corruption everywhere.
I whine about our century-old problems. It even came to the point where I declared to my family, friends and those who care to listen, even those who don't care to but have no choice but listen, that I will live in the mountains the moment GMA has a legal possibility of retaining any public office.
But then I realized that it will serve no purpose. She gets to her throne.... and I will be a broken young person who will suffer from self-inflicted wounds in my heart and soul.
All the whining will end today. I feel helpless no more. I feel enlightened, inspired and a little ashamed. While I was losing hope about everything in this country, many of my fellow Filipinos are fighting (in different ways) for a better Philippines. Seeing them has given me the drive to be a soldier and to fight for a very worthy cause. Together, we will drive the evil away.
I have seen and experienced enough problems to break my heart and soul.
My father is an elementary principal who was assigned for three years in an elementary school in the mountains. He had to drive for an hour and a half every morning just to get there. In his first year, there were only four teachers, including himself. The usual "six grade levels" system was not practiced. Only three classes were held. Grades 1 and 2 were in one class and so on. No books and facilities were available to them. Many of the pupils there had to walk many kilometers just to get to school. The turnover is high. Pupils and/or their parents either get tired or they stop believing that getting an education would bear anything.
Whenever people learn that I come from GenSan, they would immediately associate it with Manny Pacquiao. They never fail to ask if I get 'balato' from the boxing champ. Really, it never crossed my mind to ask balato. But many of my kababayan think that they deserve a portion of Manny's fortune. If they don't get anything, some would hold grudges. What a mentality! If we want something for ourselves, we must earn it.
I had an amusing yet very sad experience a week ago. I was headed to Mall of Asia from Makati to join my relatives. The bus got off at Baclaran; and from there, I was to ride a jeepney to get to MOA. I had to cross the highway through an overpass to get my ride. The rain has stopped but the water in the overpass was still high. There was no other way to get to the other side. I was cursing until a boy offered us a ride, for P10.00, in his cart. I almost laughed. I was relieved. The others were hesitant. We took the risk. We got to the other end safely. I gave him P20.00. The drainage problem has become an opportunity for this lad to earn. But the points are: the local government did not address the drainage problem and why do these boys make a living in the streets when they should be safe at home.
My sister is abroad. I (and she) could claim that she went there for the experience - to travel, to meet other people, to live a dream, to satisfy whatever desires she has, etc. But the sickening truth is, she is thousands of miles away from her home and loved ones because she has to earn big to support our family. She is making a sacrifice!!! Both my parents are professionals. And they are two of the most intelligent and hardworking people I know. They've been servants of this country for a long time. And they literally earn servants' wages. Families have to be separated because of lack of compensation, support and opportunities in this country.
I see cruelty, abuse, corruption and many forms of violence everyday. But I also see hope, commitment and love; and these keep me going.
I demand change and I pledge to be the beginning of the change I want to be. I have a voice and I will make it count.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
English Problem
I've always hated English as a subject. I hate verbs, adjectives, nouns, pronouns, subject-verb agreement and all other agreements. . . To me, they all don't seem to agree. That's why I studied Accounting. Math is my favorite. There is a (rebuttable) assumption that when you're good in Math, you're poor in English. Well, I can relate.
I've always felt secure because I only needed six units of English during college. They were very basic. And I was happy to get over them. And now, after five years of Accounting, lots of tests of character and a board exam - I have finally become a CPA. And guess what's next?!!! Lengthy English exams to land a job! What a nightmare.
My greatest (and only) regret is all about English. Why did I not look up in the dictionary all those complicated words I've seen in the hundreds of novels and textbooks I've read. Why was I an unwilling student when my English teacher mom tried to feed me with all the lessons I needed. I had the opportunity to eat and breathe English.... But I didn't. I guess I now have to depend on my mouth should my pen fail me. #
I've always felt secure because I only needed six units of English during college. They were very basic. And I was happy to get over them. And now, after five years of Accounting, lots of tests of character and a board exam - I have finally become a CPA. And guess what's next?!!! Lengthy English exams to land a job! What a nightmare.
My greatest (and only) regret is all about English. Why did I not look up in the dictionary all those complicated words I've seen in the hundreds of novels and textbooks I've read. Why was I an unwilling student when my English teacher mom tried to feed me with all the lessons I needed. I had the opportunity to eat and breathe English.... But I didn't. I guess I now have to depend on my mouth should my pen fail me. #
Fave actress
Whether Dakota played Matilda or not, she's a great actress, probably the best one in her age bracket. As a child, she was cute. And now, she's turning into a beautiful woman. She may not be as famous as Lindsay Lohan (who got famous for her scandals), but she certainly is more talented. Her latest project is New Moon. At least I have something to look forward in that movie; while the rest of America is crazy about Kirsten Stewart and Rob P.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Pressing and Depressing
Yesterday, I had to stand in a street-long line of hundreds just to get inside PRC Manila to process my license and registration. And to think, I got there at 7am, thinking that I was early already. I don't like transactions with PRC. Oooh, I remember applying for the examinations at PRC Davao, the processing of which took almost 8 hours.... of waiting. The employees were slow and ill-tempered.
Back to yesterday. You have probably seen on tv how the heavy rains and wind even led to cancellation of classes. I experienced the fury of Mother nature. But I'm now in the safe confines of my aunt's place in Cavite - with free food, tv and internet access.
So there, the hundreds of us had to wait while soaking a bit (just a bit because we were under the shed). But unlike PRC Davao, the Manila branch was more efficient. I was done after 2 1/2 hours.
While on my way to Cavite, I got soaked more. If I were in the province, I would have enjoyed the rain. But heck, this is Manila. Toxic. Dirty. Gross. You walk in the streets with feet wet and dirty.... thinking about the bad elements which could have melted or is floating in the flooded streets.
Later I saw in the news that the Congress passed some kind of a bill about the Con-Ass (I don't know the details). But the point is, while they are pursuing their political interests, they forgot what their real purpose is. What's the use being called representatives and being voted, when they don't represent the people they are supposed to be serving.
I've just finished the most stressful exams of my life. And one thing I learned is: Go back to Basics. So to our Honorable(?) Representatives: GO BACK TO BASICS! Provide us with the services we need. Know our problems and be with us in solving them. Go out of your mansions, furnished offices and luxury cars and sincerely look at us. You can start with improving the drainage system. Is it so hard? You people have the thick face to spend billions on your projects when a small portion of such is enough to relieve us of our burdens.
I'm not yet furious. #
Back to yesterday. You have probably seen on tv how the heavy rains and wind even led to cancellation of classes. I experienced the fury of Mother nature. But I'm now in the safe confines of my aunt's place in Cavite - with free food, tv and internet access.
So there, the hundreds of us had to wait while soaking a bit (just a bit because we were under the shed). But unlike PRC Davao, the Manila branch was more efficient. I was done after 2 1/2 hours.
While on my way to Cavite, I got soaked more. If I were in the province, I would have enjoyed the rain. But heck, this is Manila. Toxic. Dirty. Gross. You walk in the streets with feet wet and dirty.... thinking about the bad elements which could have melted or is floating in the flooded streets.
Later I saw in the news that the Congress passed some kind of a bill about the Con-Ass (I don't know the details). But the point is, while they are pursuing their political interests, they forgot what their real purpose is. What's the use being called representatives and being voted, when they don't represent the people they are supposed to be serving.
I've just finished the most stressful exams of my life. And one thing I learned is: Go back to Basics. So to our Honorable(?) Representatives: GO BACK TO BASICS! Provide us with the services we need. Know our problems and be with us in solving them. Go out of your mansions, furnished offices and luxury cars and sincerely look at us. You can start with improving the drainage system. Is it so hard? You people have the thick face to spend billions on your projects when a small portion of such is enough to relieve us of our burdens.
I'm not yet furious. #
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Feeling the Weight
I was never fat. At least they said I wasn't. I have nothing against people who.... (how does a sensitive person say it???) weigh a lot?? But if I don't stop my eating habits, I would soon be one of them. One of the symptoms: I now have to wear my fat sister's jeans. What could be worse? Huhu
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